So this is the first time I am ever sitting down to write a blog. Not that I usually write them while standing, but nevertheless, this is my first. And as a virgin entry I figured I would take this time to discuss my hatred for people. Well, most people. Not YOU of course, I like you. You are reading my blog, so that automatically makes you an enjoyable person. But those other people, the ones not reading my blog of course.

People generally stink. They are ignorant and dumb. Stupid and greedy. People drive slowly in the fast lane and refuse to say "thank you" when you hold the door for them. These are the same people that invented the nuclear bomb for Heaven's sake. People just suck (Not YOU though).

I'm not sure what it takes a person to do for me not to want to strangle them with my own shoe laces, but I doubt it would take much. If people, as a whole, decided to send me one dollar each, perhaps then my attitude would shift. But that will never happen, and I can appropriately blame it on the fact that people just suck.

But don't get me wrong. It's not ALL people that suck (as stated previously, YOU are one of the good ones). However, people are worthless. I cannot recall a single time that people did anything for me. Not one time have people baked me a pecan pie or saved me from the onslaught of a flaming school bus full of children. In general people just sit around, watch TV, go to work, eat at restaurants and pay their taxes. I mean how can any reasonable person put up with such atrocities. I suppose the fundamental reason people suck is that they just don't see the world the same way as I do. They don't think like me, act like me, talk like me. They don't make the same jokes or have the same interests. People are not me. Not that I'm some incredible person. Far from it. But I like me. Me is good. You is good. But it's the people that are not.

If I was walking along the beach tomorrow and stumbled across a magical genie lamp, and the genie came out and said, "Hoy! How goes there? I'm a genie, fool, and I got a wish for you, if you want," I'd go, "Heck yea!" and proceed to wish for all people to go away. Because with all people gone, that would only leave me and you. Making we. And we is good as well.

......And that is how I will save Christmas!