Man Crush, Meet Eminem

aka:  Did you hear Eminem was an illegal Canadian

Eminem just released his new song titled, "We Made You," and I am now in a glass case of emotion.  OK, so maybe my adoration for Marshall Mathers borders on the obsessed groupie, and if I was of the opposite gender, perhaps I would let him have his way with me.  But that is just simply called a "Man Crush."

Let me give a little background here before you begin judging me.  Eminem came out when I was at my impressionable stage in life.  A nerdy white kid growing up in suburbia, seeing an equally nerdy looking guy on MTV and giving "dap" to his homies, left an everlasting influence upon me.  Not to mention he was making fun of people that I hated just as much as he did (take that Moby - you yoga-loving, book reading, vegan - get a haircut!!).  

And to top it all off, he was actually talented.  But to anyone that doesn't like hip-hop, or think it's just a violent, ghetto formation of words and computerized beats, I'm sure he seems just like the vanilla in a hot fudge sundae dropped on the floor.  And even though he may be my favorite rapper, I don't think he's the greatest of all time (I miss you Biggie!! - but not as much as Puff Daddy's pockets do).  

But just take a look at his resume:

> 4 platinum selling CDs 

> multiple Grammy Awards

> An Oscar

> His own record label (Shady/Aftermath)

> A clothing line

Ok that last one isn't as impressive, it's much more sell-out than anything.  But I guess if someone offered me millions of dollars, after I spent a lifetime with basically nothing, I would probably take the money too.  But he's already being considered one of the best emcees of all time and has made people forget the original white rapper (what's his name?  with all the big pants and Johnny Bravo hair? You know, he stole that Queen song and then was almost killed by Suge Knight?  It's like White Heat?  Or Milky Cube?  I don't know I already forget).  

But anyhow, I'm excited because my boy Em is back.  I guess he never really left, only sat back in his swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills and enjoyed a life of no worries.  I only hope he hasn't lost what made him great, or doesn't just try to repeat what made him great the first time, just for the sake of repeating it.  My greatest fear is that he will pull a Goldmember (Goldmember, as in Austin Powers 3: Goldmember; a movie in which all the same jokes from the first two movies were just repeated, occasionally verbatim, just for the sake of being uncreative and trying to recapture the comedy that worked the first time, and to a lesser degree, the second time).  "I love Goooooooold," no sir you don't, you love spewing up regurgitated comedy bits because you haven't been funny since Wayne's World - silly Canadian.

(Which reminds me - why do they call it Canada? - C - eh - N - eh - D - eh...........OK, so comedy's not really my thing either, oh well)

I think I'm rambling, I don't even remember my original point.  Something about man crushes?  I can't remember and I'm too lazy to scroll back up the page, so let me leave off on this note.  Hockey is like NASCAR for Canadian hicks!!  Take that Alex Trebek!!