So there's a boat, actually several, outside my window that don't seem to move.  They were there yesterday, they're there today and I can't remember a time when I couldn't see them.  When it's dark, I can see their lights shinning brightly through the night's horizon.  I want to buy a pet dolphin and teach it to take pictures and perform espionage near and around the boats.  I don't know why they are there, and I don't know when they will leave.  Which all leads me to a single conclusion, they must be secret, undercover, government operated, conspiracy laced vessels conspiring a conspiracy of the utmost importance on my hometown.  

I already know there is a nuclear missile silo located somewhere in my town.  I know this because a well-trusted and reliable source from third period spanish class told me so.  And why would he lie?  What would he have to gain?  So perhaps these ships are just protecting my island of a town from Russian submarines patrolling the waters waiting for the perfect time to strike.  

On one of my more curious mornings, I dared to glance across the ocean with my binoculars to catch a better glimpse at these undercover ships undoubtedly causing conspiracii (what's the plural of conspiracy?).  To my astonishment, I was able to make out the name painted along the side of the hull.  "John's Shipping."  Need I say more.  Could it be any more obvious that these ships are up to no good?  They might as well be called "Bin Laden Fishing" or worse, "Boat of Anti-American Propaganda and Other Miscellaneous Terrorist Loving Liberal Hogwash."  I can only guess they didn't have enough paint or ship to name it such.

2012 is only a few short years away.  Maybe these boats are hoping to predict a massive tsunami.  Perhaps the sun's gamma rays will eventually penetrate our diminished atmosphere after the magnetic fields surrounding and protecting our planet are lifted after the magnetic North Pole goes down under, and these boats will shoot an enormous fabric of adamantine into the sky to prevent these rays from killing us all instantly.  Or maybe, just maybe, these boats aren't even there.  Perhaps it is a mirage generated by the dual cooperation of the American government and the Bumble Bee tuna corporation to make us believe we can never swim in the ocean for fear of being abducted by the boats.  

Or maybe I'm just paranoid...